Srithanu, Koh Phanghan, Thailand.
I feel quiet and peaceful. I am happy with my new place: the Agama yoga school and around. I just like being in a practice environment: to be in a place where everybody is working on the deepening of his or her awareness. To start the day with 2 hours of meditation followed by fresh fruit and inspiring conversation, what more do I want? I am meeting nice people with clear eyes, beautiful smiles and an aura of peacefulness and calmness. I have met personal trainers, osteopaths, English teachers, chiropractors, software programmers and lawyers. Must of us work in the field of body, mind and/ or spirit or aspire to do so.
So life is beautiful. Still, I have a bit of a dilemma. Soon there will be starting 2 new courses. One is the Agama Yoga Level 1, the other is silent meditation retreat which includes a daily yoga session. Now I have done many meditation retreats and zero yoga courses so I am tempted to do the yoga course. Doing the course also allows me to blog and interact with people, during the meditation course the idea is to not talk, read, write or make eye contact. But the teacher of the meditation course is said to be quite superb and everybody seems to agree on that.
I don’t know what to choose. Also I don’t know what to do if there will come a formal invitation from Phra Khru Ba, the warrior-monk I visited last week. I feel that I am in the right place but I would not like to decline an invitation from a cool guy. But if I accept I have to travel another 1200 kilometers and communicate through a translator. Here I have easy access to others. But I still don’t know. So my next tactic is to wait: quite often dilemma’s dissolve by themselves.
There are a couple of steps that I want to make or am in the process of making. I want to build up a successful and stable Skype coaching business, I want to receive training to become a better group facilitator (hopefully I will find that in the US), I want to further develop my newfound ‘powers’ as a healer (although I think that this path is more about facilitating healing by ‘moving out of the way’ than creating a healer identity), to open up and clean out every chakra that is blocked and I want to let go of destructive patterns that come from childhood and are frustrating my relationships. The latter will be done in some kind of shamanic process where I will cut all the ‘chords’ that are keeping me tied to the past. The goal is to be energetically, emotionally, spiritually and financially completely free and to joyfully manifest this freedom in all areas of my life. Bam! I said it! I can’t wait!
Just saying this alone makes me feel happy and free. I am so curious what this journey will bring me. I catch myself thinking about next year. Every time I felt I needed more time to explore the place I thought, “Oh, but I will just come back and stay longer”. At the same time I have many invitations to visit other countries: Slovenia, Romania, Costa Rica, Surinam, Ireland, Kuala Lumpur, Qatar, Singapore and Denmark, to name a few. So many adventures ahead of me, such a nice adventure to live this life. The only thing I want is to have my woman by my side: a lover, a friend, a partner, a companion, a like-minded soul and my polarity simultaneously. My next trip around the world should not be solo but as a couple. By doing my work I will make sure that I am ready to love her completely when our time has come.
What did I just do? I clarified my intentions, counted my blessings and voiced my deepest wish. It put my dilemma at the beginning of the post in a new perspective. It doesn’t really matter which turn I will take because all the turns take me into the right direction. This is something you can do too: check if your decisions are aligned with the bigger picture. Is what you are doing or about to do an expression of who you are, who you want to be or who you think you should be? If the latter is informing your decision you have the chance to re-think. Please do. Then gather courage to follow your heart.
Video taken right after finishing writing: