With a little help from a friend

Hong Kong, Hong Kong.

I am behind my laptop – sweating from the humid heat – in the beautiful living room of my Dutch but Hong Kong based friends. I have received a heartwarming welcome from them and the lady of the house, Barbara, took up the role of being not just my friend but my manager and promoter too. Thanks to her a lot of people have heard about my arrival and my workshops and she helps me a lot. To be honest: I love it.

It is very nice to have the feeling to be working together, to not do this alone. It is nice to be able to take decisions together. Furthermore, she is Dutch and very professional. Lovely people have helped me the last months but it is a relief to speak the same language both literally and culturally. So instead of having to make an effort to explain what I want she understands and makes suggestions that comfort me instead of putting me off balance. It is such a relief: I have learned that cultural differences are fun but can be the source of confusion too.

In a co-operation we fill up the gaps of the other. Of course, personal growth happens outside of our comfort zones but it is also a good feeling to be within my comfort zone for a while. Perhaps I have spent enough time on the outside to have earned a bit of time on the inside.

One of my goals here in Hong Kong is to work as much as I can so I can create a bit of a buffer for the next leg of my world tour. As I will be leaving the Third World and will be heading towards the First life will become more expensive. The other goal is to do my freaking best to contribute to the transformation of the people I work with. I hope they will benefit and I hope we will form sustainable relationships for the future. The people that I am meeting a quite high up the corporate ladder: if they experience beautiful results in their personal and professional lives the chances that I will receive an invitation to work for their companies will increase. It is my personal wish to be working inside the lion’s den: to spread some awareness in the epicenter of capitalism. That would be some true warrior shit.

But to get there I have to learn some basic business skills. Like not being shy to ask for a fee or – more bluntly – putting a price tag on my services. I find this difficult because before I know it I could fall back in the same pitfall of greed that I consider a major source of our human suffering and disconnection. I don’t want to be greedy but I don’t want to be afraid of owning my self worth either. I can see my fears. And they keep coming out as clumsy commercial behavior. For example: I never really know what is the right moment to bring up or remind participants of payment. No, this is not true: I know what the right moment is but because I feel uncomfortable I postpone and keep postponing till everybody is on his or her way home. I am afraid it ruins the atmosphere and I rather have people leave with a beautiful feeling. But now I have a manager who takes care of that. She sends my participants instructions of how and when to pay. I am so grateful!

Why does Barbara’s help make me so happy? It makes me feel supported, appreciated, and understood. I have my needs met without even having to ask for it. Deep down I always expect punishment for failure. When people leave without paying I feel I deserve it. In fact, I punish myself. I see it as my ‘fault’ because I was ‘too unprofessional’ which correlates with my idea of not being good enough. Barbara’s help makes me feel that I am ok, even if I am a bit clumsy around bringing up the money topic.

Sometimes the help of a friend allows us to pierce through our own delusion.

Thanks Bar!


  1. annemiek says

    Everybody should have a friend like Barbara.. I am lucky enough to be one of those. Give my love to her, she is and has always been a true friend and a very nice mirror to watch in too. have a nice weekend.. x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *