PEOPLE DON’T CONSCIOUSLY HURT EACH OTHER, THEY ARE MERELY PROTECTING THEIR OWN WOUNDS. I REALIZED THAT WHEN I DISCOVERED HOW MY OWN WOUNDEDNESS HAD BEEN WORKING OR IN OTHER WORDS: WHEN MY OWN WOUND WAS REVEALED TO ME. BEFORE THAT HAPPENED I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS WOUNDED. AFTER THAT REALIZATION I KNEW THAT EVERYBODY WAS WOUNDED BUT WE COVER IT UP. WE HIDE IT FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS. THAT IS WHY WE FEAR VULNERABILITY. THAT’S WHY OUR DEFAULT ANSWER TO ‘HOW ARE YOU’ ALWAYS IS ‘GREAT!’
THE STRANGE THING IS THAT WE KEEP OUR WOUNDS ALIVE BY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. IF WE START TO LOOK THEIR IMPORTANCE AND POWER MELTS. AND ONCE COMPLETELY REVEALED THE WOUND TURNS OUT TO BE AN ILLUSION. SO WE ARE NOT WOUNDED BUT WE ONLY FIND OUT BY DISCOVERING OUR IMAGINARY WOUND. FROM THAT MOMENT WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE BEEN ACTING WOUNDED ALL ALONG.
I JUST ASKED ONE OF MY WARRIORS FOR A BIT OF HELP FOR THIS POST. SHE TOLD ME HOW SHE HAD ENCOUNTERED SOMEBODY DURING WORK THAT WAS ASTONISHINGLY BLUNT IN HER COMMUNICATION. JAW DROPPING BLUNT.
IF I HAVE TO WORK WITH SOMEBODY WHO IS VERY ROUGH IN HIS COMMUNICATION IT IS HELPFUL FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE HIS APPROACH PERSONAL. THE WAY HE IS COMMUNICATING IS TELLING HIS STORY. PERHAPS HE GREW UP IN A BIG FAMILY WHERE NOBODY WANTED TO LISTEN TO HIM. OR PERHAPS HE HAD A FATHER WHO WAS VERY INSENSITIVE AND UNCONSCIOUSLY PASSED ON HIS INSENSITIVITY TO THE NEXT GENERATION. NOT MANY PEOPLE TURN INTO TOUGH COOKIES BECAUSE THEY RECEIVED TOO MUCH LOVE IN THEIR LIVES. NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING FRIENDLY TO THEM. BUT PREFERABLY NOT A PSEUDO FRIENDLINESS THAT COMES FROM BEING AFRAID.
THE MORE YOU CULTIVATE YOUR OWN PRESENCE AND OPENNESS, THE BETTER YOU CAN MAKE SUCH OBSERVATIONS AND RESPOND APPROPRIATELY. IT IS SUCH A RELIEF WHEN YOU START TO UNDERSTAND THIS GAME. BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW THAT IT ISN’T PERSONAL, IT IS ALSO REVEALING TO YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU DO TAKE IT PERSONAL. WHAT HAPPENS IS THAT YOU ARE PRESENTED AN OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK AT SOMETHING INSIDE YOU THAT HASN’T HEALED YET.
I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS POST. ALSO: OCTOBER 22ND IS CAPS LOCK DAY. BYE.
This is episode 39 in a series of 100 blog posts that will be published daily during the 100 Day Warrior, a unique program around physical strength, inner wisdom and meaning. All posts are written by Atalwin Pilon, founder of Basic Goodness and creator of the 100 Day Warrior. For requests for motivational speaking, in-company workshops, online coaching and mindfulness training click here. If you would like to join our international community of brave and inspiring human beings or just follow this blog and receive updates, please click here or sign up on the right side of the page. Atalwin specializes in coaching smart and creative people, both groups and individuals. If you are interested in a free coaching session click here.