Interesting. Interesting. So fascinating how our consciousness functions. Listen:
I had an idea for a blog post. I wanted to write about ‘things that annoy the hell out me’. My blood boils when pretty wise people (and I mean that, I am not being sarcastic) post ignorant, easily refutable pseudo spiritual crap on Facebook. I think it is a huge disservice to consciousness that people who are supposed to be a little more conscious than most post nonsense. Some people might believe them, who are then not helped but lead into the dark and other people are offered free ammo to discard everything that is esoteric and call all spiritual teachers impostors. But then I wrote a few lines (less than above) and I felt reluctant to go into such anger. I checked in and realized that I wanted to post something beautiful and I remembered an old post that contained a very touching video. I wanted something along those lines.
I looked it up, turned out it was a post from March 2011. I read the words that I wrote back then and.. I kinda liked it! Then I thought: if I just repost this post nobody will notice and my work will be done in 5 minutes. My lazy Self went ‘yay, no more work! Now you can go flirt with that girl over Whatsapp! Repost! Repost!’
And then I saw it: this post addresses exactly the topic I just discussed with one of my warriors. Seemingly pure coincidence lead me to the message I wanted to give her. How did that happen? That stuff blows my mind.
Dear warrior, this one is for you:
One of my major pitfalls is that I have a deep rooted feeling of not being good enough but insufficient and inadequate. I act this out by trying to improve myself all the time. I work out hard, eat healthy, meditate, read and write. I’m trying to overcompensate the painful gap that I feel, hoping I will be accepted if I just can be a better coach, trainer, friend, boyfriend, lover or son. I try hard in the hopes that I will see the image I have of myself reflected back at me.
On the other hand I know that the gap I’m speaking about is non-existent. I’ve experienced the wholeness of things, I know, no I know I am essentially whole and complete, that there is nothing lacking. The glimpses I had from the Truth were so powerful that I have no choice than let my trust guide me. It’s this trust that makes me do things that feel very unsafe to my ego, over and over again.
So I’m caught up in this eternal dance of my loving heart and my fearful ego. My hearts want to embrace, my ego wants to compare and judge. And when I embrace my comparing and judging my ego tells me that I can now safely say that nobody can embrace as good as me, creating distance again between me and other.
Sometimes it’s helpful to see the truth. Not inside us but right in front of us. Sometimes we see something that is very pure, very fragile and we realize it’s perfect even if it isn’t.
Please sacrifice 5 minutes of your precious life to watch this video. I hope you feel what I felt.
From “The Perfection Of Imperfection” written on March 12 2011 by Atalwin Pilon
This is episode 53 in a series of 100 blog posts that will be published daily during the 100 Day Warrior, a unique program around physical strength, inner wisdom and meaning. All posts are written by Atalwin Pilon, founder of Basic Goodness and creator of the 100 Day Warrior. For requests for motivational speaking, in-company workshops, online coaching and mindfulness training click here. If you would like to join our international community of brave and inspiring human beings or just follow this blog and receive updates, please click here or sign up on the right side of the page. Atalwin specializes in coaching smart and creative people, both groups and individuals. If you are interested in a free coaching session click here.