Eps 65: Don’t Deny Others An Opportunity To Heal

Havasu Falls, Arizona

Yesterdays meditation class was the 10th episode of the 100 Day Warrior. The subject of the session was ‘Renunciation & Letting Go’. During the session I tried to explain the differences and the similarities of these related concepts.

The goal of spiritual practice as a whole and all of these classes individually is to provide insights and tools that can provoke insights that reveal how the ego functions and structurally limits, misleads and deludes us. The invitation of this last session is to make a conscious decision to renounce deluding patterns.

What I am emphasizing lately is that we need to actually live our deepest insights. It is very tempting to see something inside ourselves and not do anything about it. If your insights are not being put into practice they are completely worthless. Nevertheless I am still picking up a major fear of ‘what others might think of me’. Or better: ‘what others might think of me when they find out who I really am’ but it is hardly ever voiced like that.

This afternoon I picked up a book by Eckhart Tolle and read this:

“Words, no matter whether they are vocalized and made into sounds or remain unspoken as thoughts, can cast an almost hypnotic spell upon you. You easily lose yourself in them, become hypnotized into implicitly believing that when you have attached a word to something, you know what it is. The fact is: You don’t know what it is. You have only covered up the mystery with a label. Everything, a bird, a tree, even a simple stone, and certainly a human being, is ultimately unknowable. This is because it has unfathomable depth. All we can perceive, experience, think about, is the surface layer of reality, less than the tip of an iceberg.”

Excerpt From: “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle

It sparked the following insight: when we know somebody by his name we have an idea of that person. But we don’t know that person at all. Actually, the chance that that particular person knows himself is incredibly small. Most likely that person is governed by his thoughts and beliefs and after investigating our belief systems we know that these systems are merely the result of someone’s conditioning.

When you realize that every person is an unknowable mystery, don’t you think it is a) arrogant to assume you know what he thinks and b) not in his or your best interest to shape your behavior on the assumption that you know what he thinks.

We have a lot of good reasons to not take our own Thinking Mind too seriously, so why in Earth worry about what other people might think? The Thinking Mind is a very deceptive and fear driven beast and your first priority is to transcend our own Thinking Mind by learning to speak, listen and live from the heart. Once you get that don’t use your fear of the Thinking Mind of the other as an excuse to fall back in habitual keeping up appearances.

Shaping your behavior and self-image based on what you think other people think of you has everything to do with fear and is not brave at all. But it is not only cowardly, it is also not very compassionate to not reveal yourself. Because while you are busy fearing judgment you are denying the other to see you from a brave and authentic side. You will not touch his heart because you are not even trying. Vulnerability heals and by consciously hiding your vulnerability you are denying others an opportunity to heal something. As a warrior you have a responsibility to reveal yourself because this is how you contribute to the healing of others.


This is episode 65 in a series of 100 blog posts that will be published daily during the 100 Day Warrior, a unique program around physical strength, inner wisdom and meaning. All posts are written by Atalwin Pilon, founder of Basic Goodness and creator of the 100 Day Warrior. For requests for motivational speaking, in-company workshops, online coaching and mindfulness training click here. If you would like to join our international community of brave and inspiring human beings or just follow this blog and receive updates, please click here or sign up on the right side of the page. Atalwin specializes in coaching smart and creative people, both groups and individuals. If you are interested in a free coaching session click here.

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