Yesterday I had an interesting insight. Quite often I have explained or try to explain that chasing happiness is not the most important or meaningful thing to do. I don’t think Nelson Mandela was very busy with creating happiness in his life, nor was Mother Theresa. I think we have to live our calling and if you have enough courage to give yourself unconditionally to that calling you will experience a sense of fulfillment.
When you are busy trying to become happy you are still caught up in the ego game of desire. If you are trying to work on your happiness you are implicitly saying you are not ok with how things are. On some level you are rejecting the present moment.
What I realized yesterday was that I am doing that myself. The commitment to my mission is not 100%. My primary goal, my calling as I feel it, is to contribute to the awakening of others and a sustainable and just society as good as I can. The path that I have chosen is to target at smart, successful and creative people and help them find courage, wisdom and compassion because I feel this will increase the chance of creating leverage. So far, so good. I am doing that. But I realized that I am continually devaluating and disempowering myself because I am not ‘rewarded’ soon enough in the way I think I should be rewarded. I am creating my own distractions and pitfalls.
I am fortunate enough to know what my calling is and I still get caught up in never ending cycle of desire. Instead of surrendering to my calling I feel dissatisfied and unhappy with the fact that I don’t have a family or a fulfilling relationship. Also I have a tendency to avoid tasks I don’t like too much and expect a lot from things I like better. For example: I have a hard time generating new assignments but am ok with blogging so I get disappointed that a blogging adventure like this self-imposed 100 day blogging challenge doesn’t immediately translate to new business. Somewhere I think I am entitled to some good fortune because I mean really well and write a lot. I realize that it’s a bit naïve, quite arrogant and pretty foolish to think that.
It is pretty much the primary mantra of the mindfulness philosophy: don’t waste time and energy on negative thoughts. Don’t feed them; thoughts are not facts. I should single-mindedly focus on my mission and don’t worry about the rewards and in what form they come. The love of my life will not show up because I feel sorry for myself. And feeling sorry for myself will definitely not bring me new clients. Better man up and do what I love. Who knows, it might even lead to fulfillment.
This is episode 67 in a series of 100 blog posts that will be published daily during the 100 Day Warrior, a unique program around physical strength, inner wisdom and meaning. All posts are written by Atalwin Pilon, founder of Basic Goodness and creator of the 100 Day Warrior. For requests for motivational speaking, in-company workshops, online coaching and mindfulness training click here. If you would like to join our international community of brave and inspiring human beings or just follow this blog and receive updates, please click here or sign up on the right side of the page. Atalwin specializes in coaching smart and creative people, both groups and individuals. If you are interested in a free coaching session click here.