During the first episode of the 100 Day Warrior (in Sept 2014) I asked a handful of people from the creative industry to send me questions that they would like to be answered by the participants of the 100 Day Warrior. Out of approximately 30 questions I selected 13 that seem to cover most of the curiosity of most followers. Carolien is the first of the 100 Day Warrior IV to answer them.
We all have a tendency to hide our vulnerability. To overcome that fear we need courage. We need courage to bridge the gap between what we feel and what we show. We cannot expect the world to know us if we don’t reveal what is truly going on inside us. We can’t even expect to know ourselves if we don’t allow ourselves to explore our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. By developing the courage to open up we create connection with self and others. To become this type of courageous man or woman is what I call a warrior.
The ego is a mighty opponent. I come to this conclusion every day. That thing that we experience as ‘myself’, that thing that manufactures thoughts and feelings and draws conclusions that seem logical and natural but turns out to be quite conditioned by people and circumstances when we take a closer look; that thing doesn’t […]
Every year my first post of the year contains the exercise that I will show you once again. I take a deep breath and start writing down the dreams and intentions that flow from my heart for 5 minutes, without thinking, without rehearsing and without editing afterwards. Afterwards I often peak at last years post and see if there were dreams that came true and dreams that stayed unfulfilled.
Also, dear Universe, I would like my next house to more permanent than the last.. well.. 7 houses I have lived in. It would be really kind of you if you help my find something affordable for Amsterdam standards and if that is not an option please send me lots of lucrative gigs. I’ll promise I will rock them and give all these clients a memorable and valuable experience.
Pema Chödron is perhaps one of the most appreciated spiritual teachers in the world today. She is a very evolved human being. She is trained for many years by her teacher Chögyam Trungpa, the famous Tibetan master who brought us the Shambala Warrior teachings. So it is save to say that Pema Chödron is one of the most evolved warriors on the planet. And even this lady can disregard an appeal to her warrior persona, only minutes after having a profound experience of wanting to help others, mind you!
One of the photos I bought is the one above this post. According to the photographer the couple is still very much in love. The old man was proud to introduce the photographer to his girlfriend. He is in his nineties, his girl is 10 years older than him. I find the picture upsetting, touching and humbling. I hope to find the woman that I can share my life with and that we will never ever get enough of each other.
There are many moments when I feel lost or that I doubt if I make the right decisions. I don’t doubt my intentions though; I know where I want to go. But I am hardly ever sure if the road I have chosen will take me there. And then there are these rare moments where I realize: Oh my, this might actually work.
Today there was such a moment.
One of my major pitfalls is that I have a deep rooted feeling of not being good enough but insufficient and inadequate. I act this out by trying to improve myself all the time. I work out hard, eat healthy, meditate, read and write. I’m trying to overcompensate the painful gap that I feel, hoping I will be accepted if I just can be a better coach, trainer, friend, boyfriend, lover or son. I try hard in the hopes that I will see the image I have of myself reflected back at me.