Eps 83: How To Prevent Street Violence

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I heard myself shouting “COME HERE THEN! HEY, COME BACK!” He didn’t but if he had stopped I would have given him a 75%-80% chance of being punched in the face.

I share this because I find it a telling example of how little it takes to create a violent situation, even when in a peaceful country like Holland and with a peaceful guy like me. It was not only that I wanted to teach this jerk a lesson but also he had become a symbol of all anti-social behavior. Too many people shouted in my face and got away with it. This guy represented the whole category to me and I had reached my breaking point.

Eps 77: Of Men And War (And Immoral Use Of Mindfulness)

Of Men and War

In the beginning of the movie one of the vets explains how small he felt upon his return to the United States. It’s an experience shared by almost all the men in the therapy group. When they finally got back home from their tour of duty in Iraq, they were no longer the same men whom their wives had waved off. Almost all of them have horrific tales to tell, some about a friend lost, many about the deaths of innocent Iraqis.

Eps 45: When Life Pulls The Rug From Underneath You

Rug Pull

Today I came from a meeting in Utrecht and on my way back I was contemplating my next step in life. I accidentally saw some notes I made during a meeting with a like-minded soul some time ago. The notes were about intention and visualization. I was watching the daylight turning into soft and warm tones as the time of sunset approached. A peaceful silence came over me. I felt the courage and inspiration coming bubbling up to verbalize the next step of my vision. Although I am not sure what it is I feel that there is something ready to come out.

EPS 39: PEOPLE DON’T CONSCIOUSLY HURT EACH OTHER

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PEOPLE DON’T CONSCIOUSLY HURT EACH OTHER, THEY ARE MERELY PROTECTING THEIR OWN WOUNDS. I REALIZED THAT WHEN I DISCOVERED HOW MY OWN WOUNDEDNESS HAD BEEN WORKING OR IN OTHER WORDS: WHEN MY OWN WOUND WAS REVEALED TO ME. BEFORE THAT HAPPENED I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS WOUNDED. AFTER THAT REALIZATION I KNEW THAT EVERYBODY WAS WOUNDED BUT WE COVER IT UP. WE HIDE IT FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS. THAT IS WHY WE FEAR VULNERABILITY. THAT’S WHY OUR DEFAULT ANSWER TO ‘HOW ARE YOU’ ALWAYS IS ‘GREAT!’

Eps 33: Be Flexible

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A fisherman was driving his boat towards the shore of the river. At some point he sees another boat coming in his direction. He signals the boat with lights, making sure he is seen. But the other boat doesn’t change his course. Now according to local rules the fisherman has right of way and he starts shouting at the other boat, since that boat is now within shouting distance. But the boat doesn’t change his course.

Eps 21: The River

Clouds in the River

That afternoon the clouds returned, but this time she did not want to possess any of them. She could see the beauty of each cloud, and she was able to welcome all of them. When a cloud came by, she would greet him or her with loving kindness. When that cloud wanted to go away, she would wave to him or her happily and with loving kindness. She realized that all clouds are her.

What would Walther White do?

Walter White

I am back. I decided to be back. The last couple of weeks I was avoiding writing somewhat. I felt bored with writing about myself, the struggles and the little insights that may or not come. I had to deal with a major disappointment and as we all know entering an introspective process when feeling all screwed up and betrayed are very favorable conditions for insights to be dug up. This time I dealt with it old-school: I told nobody and just hid inside my bedroom for a day, watching Breaking Bad as therapy.

I must admit: it was insightful.

A painful ride. And an amazing ride.

Mountain Sickness. Again

As I said I decided to not leave the bus in Ica but to keep heading for Cuzco. I thought it would take me 15 hours and that I had covered 4-5 hours at the moment of deciding, leaving me another 10 hours in the bus. Piece of cake for this world traveler, especially because the buses are luxurious and have wifi. I mean: 2 hours of Facebook and 8 hours of sleep? Perfect! Sounds like weekend! What I didn’t know was that the ride from Lima to Cuzco is not 15 but 21 hours. What I also did not immediately realize is that Cuzco is at 3400 meters. Sleeping at altitude higher than 2500 meters gives the risk of AMS (Acute Mountain Sickness) and I seem to be sensitive to that. Not to mention all the winding it takes before one has finally reached a destination that high.

Surely I developed a headache around 10 o’clock in the morning. After my adventure in Ladakh I know what this means: my brains are starting to swell. It hurts like hell. On top of that I am getting nauseous and dizzy. Meanwhile the bus keeps climbing and climbing and we have hours more to go. I hate myself for making the decision to go to Cuzco.

The Chinese pain

Chinese faces

One of the really cool things of giving the type of workshops that I give in different countries is that it reveals the cultural aspect of the personality structure. Common factors, traditions and beliefs in a country or region leave similar marks on the souls that grow up there. Different things are valued in different countries and communities causing different aspects to be suppressed.

Because I was spending most of my time with Dutch expats I didn’t get a close look at the Chinese. But that changed this week. Of course I could observe them in the public domain but it is obviously different to interact closely with people than observe from a distance.