Many of us think that compassion is synonymous with being friendly and don’t see how their friendliness is motivated by fear. We believe that we can’t be “mean” or “rude” to others, even if this means supressing our own needs and feelings. We let our boundaries be violated because we like to be a good person so badly. In reality, true compassion has nothing to do with being nice and everything to do with doing the right thing for ourselves and others. And when your compassion is not completely honest, it is not compassion but a lie.
We fear judgment by others, loss of social status, failure and and the feeling of being inadequate. Also we fear intimacy and vulnerability. Imagine endorsing all the work of somebody close to you. What do you say next time you see him? You are afraid it will be awkward, right? Perhaps he will start thinking you look up to him, or that your are kissing his ass. We don’t want to give up our position: preferably a superior position but at least somewhat horizontally. Of course this all changes when our friend becomes officially famous. Now our relationship boosts our social status so it is safe to endorse him.
This reminds me of traveling. When I arrived in a new country I would find out that certain things were done in ways so illogical that I just wanted to slam my face against the wall out of frustration. I just couldn’t understand that people could be so stupid to tolerate that particular kind of inefficiency that I was encountering. It took some time and a couple of countries before I could accept that not everybody sees things in the way I see them. And even though there were situations that I never learned to understand I did learn to accept. Acceptance made my life a lot easier.
The practice of warriorship is not a part-time hobby, it is a path. The whole point of the 100 Day Warrior is to create a circle of people who have found common ground in their desire to practice human bravery. Warriors support each other unconditionally; there is no judgment and no desire to offer the other anything less then our humanity and authenticity. Therefore the circle will be and must be a safe haven under any circumstance.
There will come a time when the Universe will test us. But when push comes to shove we will not run away. Then we will be shoulder to shoulder, with hearts open and back straight. This way we will find out we have understood something.
The 100 Day Warrior is not just about becoming beach-proof and receiving a couple of tools that will make it easier for you to function in a competitive work environment. The vision is to help you appreciate your body and mind so that you begin to contact the fundamental notion of basic goodness in yourself thus providing the ground for helping yourself and others.
The only way to break through the dominant paradigm of selfishness and greed is by opening up yourself to yourself.
The 100 Day Warrior is designed to unveil a version of yourself you weren’t acquainted with before. And there is an element of deception: the one who signs up for the course might think the program is about polishing up one’s armour and coming out bright and shiny after 100 days. But the 100 Day Warrior is not about building an armour, it is about stripping. In a way you have joined a strip club
Life can take such unexpected turns and it doesn’t matter if you are born in a privileged royal family, are an amazing F1 champion or have model looks. It brings up many thoughts. Do I live in a meaningful way? Am I spending my time wisely? What if I get hit by a car tomorrow? Did Shumi and Friso tell their wifes and children that they were loved before they went skiing that day? I have no idea; I don’t know these guys. I hope so, though.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.. This is what Aristotle said. During the 100 Day Warrior the participants will learn how to take care of themselves in an excellent way, and I hope that 100 days is long enough to create habits and bonds that will last a life time. My participants are amazing, highly motivated, bright (and good looking too). My intuition tells me weird things must happen to make our journey anything less than life-changing.