Eps 27: A Long But Good Day


Also I am very happy with the trainers from Evolve. They carry a big responsibility because they are almost closer to my participants than me. They train their Warriors 3 times per week. I have 3 trainers and each of them takes care of 2 Warriors. Before the kick-off I tried my best to emphasize that the 100 Day Warrior program should not be perceived as a conventional personal training program. They would be working with people who exposed themselves to a process more intense and complete than most of us have ever done. I tried to get them in the right mind-set and get them focused. I wasn’t sure if I was getting through to them at the time but by now I can see them all acing it.

Eps 13: Friendship

Boys @ Pitch

I find it interesting that friendships are similar to romantic relationships but then without the romance. I have been deeply in love with a few women in my life and I thought it would never stop. Still, the relationships did not last. But I have friendships where the feeling does seem to last. The relationship is never boring and always interesting, and I never get tired of the jokes we have been making for more than 20 years.

Eps 9: Happy

Digging deep

A sense of fulfilment has entered my body and if I can feel this good after only one session, how good will all of us feel when we are further down the road? I honestly think this is going to work! I am very happy with the group, I am very happy with the trainers and I am so excited about the weeks to come! I am already so immense proud and deeply grateful for all the people who are carrying this journey, both trainers and participants; it almost feels like if my heart wants to explode out of my chest.

A precious practice

Atalwin in zazen

By witnessing pure communication – that is the best way I can describe it – I realized how contaminated our average day-to-day communication is. When we feel free, open and courageous enough to let the words flow from our hearts everybody has something interesting to say. Not that anybody made any effort to impress, be funny or profound. It is quite the opposite. When the masks are dropped everybody shows up as human, vulnerable, tender, authentic. Words seem to come effortless from varying places. Sometimes from a deep, raw and tormented place, sometimes from a blissful and graceful place, and everything in between.

Not too lazy

Quilotao early morning

I am practicing the ‘thoughts are things’ concept as explained in books like The Secret. I resented that book/ movie/ whatever it was but I really want to be financially successful the coming months. So for the first time in my life I have put an amount in my head (or actually two amounts, one for New York and one for Hong Kong) and I repeat it a couple of times per day. When I walked randomly into the local cathedral I even prayed for that wish to come true. Sometimes I feel fear of failure coming up and then I hope that this did not contaminate my intentions. Fingers crossed and work hard. I did promise God that I will do good things with the money and will serve my clients and participants to the best of my abilities.

A kindred Warrior

Cotopaxi, the highest active volcano in the world

I just come back from climbing the volcano in the pic. Well.. climbing the volcano.. it was more from the parking place to the first stop and getting exhausted from that little distance. But I was at 4800 meters which is quite high. Now I am back at the hostel and open up my laptop to find out that I just received a donation from ‘a kindred warrior’. Just like that. Somebody who I didn’t even knew he existed reached out to me and gave me his support. It is hard to find words to express what it means to me.

But I will give it a shot.

It gives me hope. And it gives me strength. It gives me the feeling that everything is worth it.

Things I love and am grateful for

Good morning! I am going to write another list today because it makes me feel good and because it is my website (I admit I do feel a bit of guilt around making it easy on myself). Last night I was thinking about the things I love.

I am not really sure where it will take me but the idea is to write down any thought without thinking or editing, just blurting out what comes up, for 2-3 minutes or 5 if you are a slow typist like me.

Here we go:

I love people

I love movies (not all of them)

I love to be kind

I love true friendship (to experience and to observe)

I love good food

Living in the love of the common people

Melissa y Miquel

I am impressed to see such young people handle their lives in such mature, seemingly effortless ways without much complaining. Yes, Miquel tells me he finds it very hard that he can’t see his kids as much as he would like but by living in Cali he has better changed to secure their future. So he does the best he can do and makes the sacrifice that he needs to make. In the mean time he is pursuing his dream as a professional musician and was able to make the money for the instruments he needs. He counts his blessings. I am impressed.

Melissa and Miquel teach me so many things. To live in the moment but keep an eye on the future too. To accept live as it is presented to you and not hold a grudge. To be kind and loving and to pursue your personal dreams simultaneously. To share are your resources. To give the children lots of space but also trust that things will work out during the times they are out of sight. To be thankful and happy.

Receiving a healing and doing some praying

Sacred fire

The third ayahuasca ceremony did not go as I hoped. Although the gates of the plant had opened themselves slightly in the second ceremony and I was quite hopeful not too much happened even though I took 3 cups. I was pondering if I should take a 4th cup or not. It is always a big decision because I that last cup can throw everything upside down. Actually, every cup is a gamble. It could be heaven and eternal wisdom, it could be hell and it could be apparently not much at all.

I decided not to take the 4th cup and to no be too disappointed. I just sat by the fire buzzing a bit. Then Kajuyali tapped on my shoulder.

Simon’s kitchen

Simon's kitchen

I just finished cleaning up the kitchen of my host Simon. It is kind of a grey day and I felt like doing something but gave myself permission to keep it more or less indoors since I will be on the road for a month or so. So I guessed it would a kind thing to do, to do the dishes. While I was doing the dishes I felt a sense of gratitude and meaning. I feel that perhaps the most important thing to life is caring. Caring seems to be an expression of love and selflessness. There is something holy and dignified about doing the dishes. Every cup and plate gets a bit of attention and bit of warm water. It is thanked for his services and prepared for the next time it is needed.