The dance of life

Celebration - Osho Zen Tarot

At the end of the day we met up with other friends at the Yoga Barn for a Biodanza workshop. It was my idea to do it. I had done some sort of try out class 4 or 5 years ago, couldn’t really remember what it was like but knew it was with lots of dancing and was pretty sure that we didn’t have to squeeze our bodies into impossible postures. That sounded like music to my ears.

Biodanza is the dance of life, explained our teacher Simon. To make a long story short: it was amazing, sexy, sensual, heart warming, vulnerable, intimate and profound. And all these experiences came from dancing together. By experimenting with different distances, movements and ways of touching different people we get to know ourselves and experience ourself in relationship to others and in relationship with our bodies.

Pulp fiction, on special request

Pulp Fiction

These are the first words that I type but you will probably not find them in the beginning of this post. I’m trying to fulfill the special request of my best buddy B. to not start with the introduction of – what he calls – a ‘problem’, followed by some sort of resolution and ends with a conclusion. It was the word ‘problem’ that triggered me to write this post. There is some judgment there, and dividing the world in right and wrong, good and bad, positive and negative is exactly how we create and maintain the illusion we are living in.

The buck stops here

The buck stops here!

I heard my American friend Luke say on Twitter that when we die people don’t remember what we said or what we did but how they felt in our presence. Tonight I told Mike the story of how I finally was able to forgive my father. I might write about that some other day. But what the conversation made me remember was a very early insight that marked the beginning of my path. I think I was somewhere halfway my twenties and in my first serious relationship. Naturally I was having a tough time. I believe that I became aware of the fact that I had the same age as when my parents got divorced and that I saw that being a kid from divorced parents is not exactly the ideal foundation for becoming a future partner. Seeing my parents as young struggling people my own age who had parents that must have been challenged in some way as well made me realize that we pass on these destructive patterns from generation to generation. What became superclear was that I would not allow myself to remain a victim of passed events. I would not become a jerk to the women in my life because my grandfather was beaten heavily by his father and my grandmother was sexually abused by clergymen. No way. The buck stops here.

Just get out of the way

Woman meditating on Bali beach

We find our truth in our hearts. In the beginning it’s a bit hard to find because thoughts are distracting us. But if you sit upright and concentrate on your breathing for a couple of moments and just observe the breath flowing in and out you will probably find a sense of ok-ness, of acceptance, of relaxation. What you are experiencing is not the effect of a technique, there is nothing artificial about it. What you are experiencing is the real you, you are experiencing yourself as a source of acceptance and relaxation. You are the source! The mind clutter is the fabrication, and obeying the mind clutter is what makes you artificial. How about that for a paradigm shift? Do you now see why every wisdom tradition encourages some sort of meditation? Otherwise we stay stuck in the realm of thoughts and thinking. We need to go beyond.

The importance of self remembrance

villa-pantulan-bali-food1

An hour ago I started this blog without a clue about what to write about. I felt that nothing worthwhile had happened and I felt the pressure of the commitment to write anyway. So I just started by writing down what came up when I checked in. Now I feel grateful. By creating a moment of self reflection I remembered the importance of self remembrance. That’s why discipline is healing. We create a moment where we come back to ourselves. I just added value to my life and my trip. Nice.

6 things you always wanted to know about spiritual awakening

Holy Fire - Alex Grey 1987

This blog has been online now for about a week and I received from different people similar questions The questions were something along the lines of: “What is life like after an experience of transformation?”. I can tell you how it was for me. After the introduction I will try to answer a couple of those questions.

The spiritual language doesn’t really make sense until you have had some sort of mystical experience yourself. And before I had mine I felt huge resistance against people who spoke about “becoming whole”, “coming home”, “dropping the self” or “a deep letting go”. But after the experience I realized that these terms actually make a lot of sense…