We fear judgment by others, loss of social status, failure and and the feeling of being inadequate. Also we fear intimacy and vulnerability. Imagine endorsing all the work of somebody close to you. What do you say next time you see him? You are afraid it will be awkward, right? Perhaps he will start thinking you look up to him, or that your are kissing his ass. We don’t want to give up our position: preferably a superior position but at least somewhat horizontally. Of course this all changes when our friend becomes officially famous. Now our relationship boosts our social status so it is safe to endorse him.
I hope that one day my words are powerful enough to unite us. That we will overcome our fear of deficit together. At this moment I still feel alone often on this mission because you, anonymous reader, are invisible to me. When I’m speaking from my heart I am — in a way – aiming at your heart. But at the same time I’m shooting my arrows into the dark void of cyberspace. Often the only way I can tell you are here is by looking at the amount of visitors who read my posts. It would be nice if you speak up too, if you would join me on this search for truth and honesty.
When I write this post this blog is not online yet. I feel that I’m postponing, hesitating to take the leap. Why am I afraid? It’s the fear of being naked in front an invisible audience, an audience composed of strangers and/ or people that know me very well. But also the fear of being naked in front of no audience at all. How embarrassing to scrape your courage together, take off all your clothes, walk on stage and reveal yourself.. to find out nobody came to watch.