The other day I had lunch with my friend Philip. He is “This” at “this, that & the other”. We were talking about distraction and sedation. I had once said to him “clarity is so much more interesting than distraction” and it struck a chord. I can’t remember saying that but.. I totally agree with […]
This website and my works central theme is warriorship and human bravery. “The essence of warriorship, or the essence of human bravery, is refusing to give up on anyone or anything” said Chögyam Trungpa, the great Tibetan spiritual teacher that I like to study and often use as a source of inspiration. When I looked through the pics below I was reminded to his words. There is so much beauty and sadness in the pictures and at the same time so much love and bravery that it reminds us of our humanity, our diversity and our obligation to ourselves and others to not give up on opening our hearts and taking care of each other.
PEOPLE DON’T CONSCIOUSLY HURT EACH OTHER, THEY ARE MERELY PROTECTING THEIR OWN WOUNDS. I REALIZED THAT WHEN I DISCOVERED HOW MY OWN WOUNDEDNESS HAD BEEN WORKING OR IN OTHER WORDS: WHEN MY OWN WOUND WAS REVEALED TO ME. BEFORE THAT HAPPENED I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS WOUNDED. AFTER THAT REALIZATION I KNEW THAT EVERYBODY WAS WOUNDED BUT WE COVER IT UP. WE HIDE IT FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS. THAT IS WHY WE FEAR VULNERABILITY. THAT’S WHY OUR DEFAULT ANSWER TO ‘HOW ARE YOU’ ALWAYS IS ‘GREAT!’
We fear judgment by others, loss of social status, failure and and the feeling of being inadequate. Also we fear intimacy and vulnerability. Imagine endorsing all the work of somebody close to you. What do you say next time you see him? You are afraid it will be awkward, right? Perhaps he will start thinking you look up to him, or that your are kissing his ass. We don’t want to give up our position: preferably a superior position but at least somewhat horizontally. Of course this all changes when our friend becomes officially famous. Now our relationship boosts our social status so it is safe to endorse him.
Many people think that meditation is just a bunch of relaxation techniques. You might even look forward to a course where you can chill out on a black cushion on Sunday mornings, surrounded by nice and calm people. After your session you walk out and enjoy the autumn sun. But it gets a bit more difficult when you realize that you need to apply the principles of spiritual practice unconditionally. And when you turn the light inwards you might see that you are not living the harmonious life you thought you were living.
This is Yulia Marushevska. She is filmed by Graham Mitchell in front of Maidan Square in Kyiv, captital of Ukraine. The video was posted on February 10th and went viral. Yulia is a warrior, risking her safety to contribute to the freedom of her people, the people of the Ukraine.
My mission in this life is to contribute to the awakening of the warrior heart that is in all of us. Most of us live quite cowardly most of the time. We rather feel safe than vulnerable. It is not easy to overcome our fear of vulnerability.
But sometimes something happens in life that is so unjust that the decision is made for you. You become courageous overnight. I don’t know Yulia but to me it feels that her Warrior spirit has taken over. Perhaps she had always been brave or perhaps it were the circumstances that pushed her through.
Nelson Mandela said: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” When you watch Yulia and hear her voice you can hear she is terrified but determined and angry. It is hard not to feel touched and spoken to. And that’s when it becomes inconvenient. I invite you to watch the video and to mindful of the way your body and mind responds. Observe 2 moments especially: the moment when your heart opens and you want to reach out and the moment when it closes and you go back to business as usual.
Have you ever tried to sing a song while masturbating? It honestly never even crossed my mind. But the girls of Dutch girlband ADAM tried it and made a video of it. I can imagine them having had a lot of fun during the creative process.
There is a reason why I post this video. I feel it is more than just sexy. I think it is a very brave, vulnerable and humorous idea and therefore inspiring. I think it is both powerful, playful and incredibly honest. Unless they are faking of course but I don’t think they did. The video can also turn out to be a commercial for some vibrator brand, that would be a bummer too. We’ll see. For me this is still a video about female bravery. I hope it stays that way.
I haven’t been writing in a while. It has to do with me trying to find a new tone or a new voice. I don’t know what that voice will be and I am not sure if I am ready to own that new voice. It all has to do with the new face that this website will receive, hopefully quite soon. The website will receive a new look and feel and will be more professional. The idea is that Basic Goodness will grow up.
So right now I am in transition. This is a difficult phase, I feel. I don’t know how it is for you but for it is a phase where you don’t identify with the old anymore but the new hasn’t arrived yet. What is inside the cocoon? Is it a caterpillar? I don’t think so. And it is not a butterfly either. I wonder if there is a word for it.
I wanted to start by saying ‘so far, so good’ and then say something about my buddies the advertising guys that I hired. I think they just asked me for my zip code to send me their invoice and that means pretty much that there is no way back: I have formally hired their services and I have been officially accepted as their client. I realize that by saying ‘so far, so good’ I keep the option open for a possible change of events. It seems impossible to get myself to believe I am actually good enough.
It is strange that I go back and forth from being super excited and hopeful to downplaying my hopes, desires and expectations. “Don’t be too excited or else you might end up disappointed” is a voice that whispers in my enthusiastic ears.