The student asks the teacher: “what does it take to become enlightened?” The teacher answers: “just be yourself and the universe will give you feedback”
I think I said this yesterday to somebody. Today I want to look at it myself because a couple of hours ago I told somebody to take the advice he was giving others to his own heart. And if I advice somebody to look at his advice it is only fair to look at my own advice.
The first thing that I ‘read’ in the messages I receive from the Universe lately is that I am not enlightened. Plenty of things are going difficult. I wished for myself to navigate through difficulties and arguments with more elegance and dignity and to not be attached to the outcomes. Also I would like to more eloquent under pressure. I wonder if enlightened masters ever feel bullied out of their money. I wonder how Eckhart Tolle responds to an unreasonable cop that shouts at him. Recently I noticed how disempowered I feel when in a heated argument, especially when it is about money. I feel helpless: I am conscious enough not to fall back into immature blaming and attacking of the other but not conscious enough to remain unfazed and verbalize my point in the way I would like it. If that helplessness happens I feel a familiar desire rising up from the darkness of my soul to knock somebody’s lights out. I can’t imagine enlightened master have to go through that. On the other hand: there are quite a bit of greedy spiritual teachers. So who knows, perhaps I am on the right track after all.
Yesterday I noticed myself saying wise and deep stuff about the 100 Day Warrior not being about becoming beach-proof and chill and although I totally mean that, I would like to confess that I am not completely free from concerns about my appearance. Just in case it wasn’t obvious.
What I am saying is that I quite often feel helpless, hopeless, lonely, insecure, fat, stupid, inadequate and poor. Fortunately I also feel happy, free, blessed, rich, connected, appreciated, fit and smart at times. And hopeful, I feel hopeful too.
It helps that I don’t take my ego so damn seriously but it doesn’t mean it is not there. It is playing tricks on me every day, trying to delude and distract me. It tries to implement self-pity, self-righteousness, entitlement, greed and superiority. And don’t forget the fears and concerns about success, failure, future, income, relationships, friendships, planet, environment, food and muscle mass (not necessary in order of importance).
“What is Zen?” the student asks. “Turn the light inwards” the Master replies.
If you are contemplating the exploration of human consciousness: be warned. Indeed, turning the light inwards opens up a fascinating and revealing scenery. But it is also a very complicated and slippery path and very confusing at times, I feel. You will enter a different game, and need to stop the game that you have been trained to play until now. To complicate it further: most others around you will just continue playing the old game and treat as if you are still playing that game too. If they notice you are trying to play a different game you will be judged, if they notice you fail at playing a different game you will be judged. Oh, and once you tasted the new game you lose all interest in the old game. Only thing is that you used to rock the old game and now are a complete beginner at the new game. Which is good, because ‘the beginner’s mind’ is the supreme mind in the new game. But then you start to get it and next thing you know you have lost your beginner’s mind and now you are lost again. That.
This is episode 24 in a series of 100 blog posts that will be published daily during the 100 Day Warrior, a unique program around physical strength, inner wisdom and meaning. All posts are written by Atalwin Pilon, founder of Basic Goodness and creator of the 100 Day Warrior. For requests for motivational speaking, in-company workshops, online coaching and mindfulness training click here. If you would like to join our international community of brave and inspiring human beings or just follow this blog and receive updates, please click here of sign up on the right side of the page. Atalwin specializes in coaching smart and creative people, both groups and individuals. If you are interested in a free coaching session click here.